I’ve been watching my baby girl grow up for almost seven years. And at certain points, I found myself engaging in “positive pushing.”
Pushing her to read, write, learn, create, do sports, eat right – you name it.
Let me clarify mommy “pushing.”
Workbooks
When she was 3, I started buying workbooks galore. You know those workbooks we’ve all seen? The ones with mazes, matching and writing.
She hated them. She absolutely refused to do any. Coming from a traditional schooling background, I was angry (I didn’t show her that however), but I have to confess, I had some anxiety.
“Oh no! If she won’t do worksheets how will she succeed? Will she even get accepted in to college?”
A little overdramatic I realize now, but I was much younger and much dumber at that time.
I would continue, at times, to try and re-introduce the workbooks.
No response. And I’m pretty sure if she could have given me the finger, she would have.
Reading
It started with Bob Books. Which are a fine tool for many children – just not mine.
She didn’t want to read. She COULD read. She had been trained well in phenotics, but she didn’t feel like it.
I tried all sorts of books, more workbooks (insane?), library programs, Hooked on Phonics reading kits. I tried everything.
She just wanted to be read TO. So, of course, I picked classic and original literature like The Wizard of Oz. I chose meaningful literature like the children’s redintion of Pilgrim’s Progress – Dangerous Journey.
She loved it. But still no reading to me or by herself.
Math
She simply showed little to no interest. I broke out the coins.
No response.
More math worksheets. (AGH!)
No response.
Now I’m getting worried.
“Is there something wrong with my child? Does she have a learning disability?”
Not unless her disability is me.
I could go on with countless examples of how I tried to approach learning and education, but I can tell you that for the most part, I had it all wrong.
I even had a “professional” suggest that I needed to hold her back a year before starting kindergarten.
I’m so grateful I went with my intuitive mom-stinct.
We immediately switched schools to give Johanna a more hands on experience, and I am lucky enough to have my daughter in a school that will only accept 15 students as a maximum – FOR THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.
My daughter’s Montessori teacher told me a few years ago –
“Children don’t need to be pushed. She will develop intuitively on her own.”
As I backed off and let her read as she liked, work as she like with what she liked.
In a few weeks, she will be seven and finishing up her first grade year.
In Year One she has:
1. Mastered the United States and capitals.
2. Mastered the Southern and Western European countries. (Not sure I know where all of these are)
3. Yesterday she called and ASKED if we could go to the library so she could check out some books.
As for Math?
She has zoomed through addition, subtraction, multiplication and her most recent love is division. Check out her most recent work:
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All it took was letting go. Just supporting her interests and her time.
If you are a parent, I encourage you to watch your child. Put yourself in her shoes. Don’t try and teach him in the way that you were taught.
Here are 4 Ways to NOT Become Your Child’s Learning Disability:
Stop worrying.
Trust your child.
Encourage, but don’t push.
Create an environment that will inspire!
